Step 9: Make Direct Amends to Such People Wherever Possible, Except When to do so Would Injure Them or Others
Step nine begins the process of re-connecting with my fellow human beings through the process of amends. I have my list from my 8th step of all the people and institutions I owe amends to and now I move out into the world and begin to make up for the mistakes of my past. Amends can be made in person, through the mail, or by telephone.
By living the self-centered life of an addict, we have wreaked havoc in the lives of those who care about us most. We have manipulated our friends and family and exhibited disregard for their well-being in order to meet our selfish needs.
In step nine, we must face those who we have wronged and make amends for the harm we have caused. We must pay back debts we owe to people and institutions. We must take direct and personal action to right the wrongs.
Click here to download or print a PDF version of this page
Mark’s Personal Journey with Step 9
“My personal experiences with Step 9 were profound and life changing I did not realize prior to the process of making amends that I had disconnected from people through my alcoholism and drug addiction. I was an island unto myself and I was the only one on the island.
As I made face to face amends with family members – particularly my parents – I began to experience a greater sense of ease and comfort within myself. I was able to accept the people in my life just as they are with no desire to change them. I owed a lot of money and as I began to pay the money back I began to earn more money at my job. I learned through this process that everything is connected. When one area of my life improved because of making amends, every area of my life became undeniably more rewarding.”
We Don’t Control the Outcome
Our role in Step 9 is to make amends with each person, institution, and entity we created during step eight. There is no guarantee that those who we make our amends to will forgive us or react positively. We do not control the outcome. We do not control the thoughts and intentions of others. We only offer the amends and accept what transpires.
The Role of Step 9 in the Recovery Process
By taking a series of actions to re-create in a positive way all the destruction that we created while being unconscious, we begin living with the positive effects of our new creations. Through amends, we will begin consciously creating our lives.
The previous step - step 8 of 12
Remember this page
This page will be updated periodically with further meditations and guidance. You may wish to add it to your browser Favorites to make it easier to visit again. If you've found this page helpful, we also invite you to link to us from your own web site or blog:
To link to this page, copy the following code to your site:
Click here to add this page to your Internet Explorer Favorites
